Reasoning for picking them to share my special moment:
Alan has always been a great guy, and has done so much for me over the years. I always loved talking with him about anything and everything doing with business, and life in general. I never told him, but if I ever had a dad, he is everything I would have wished for. When I had to choose a day to induce my labor for Kristen, it happened to be March, and it happened to be in the span that included March19th, which is Alan's bday. So I chose Alan's bday. She happened to come before that, but it is written in her chart that she was scheduled to be born on the 19th. He was also there on my original wedding when Chris and I got hitched in Vegas. He drove us to the airport (since they couldnt go) which (to me) was his way of walking me down the aisle..lol.. Its silly to say... I knew him before Carol did. My mother introduced them to each other. My old stepdad, Lisa's dad knew a guy named Dino, who knew Alan and brought him over to our house one time when he visited. After that he came over a few times and visited. They used to work out with Lewis or bike...lol..somethin like that. neways.. After she got to know him well enough, my mom thought he would be perfect for her sister Carol. So she introduced them. They have been together ever since. Carol used to babysit us (my sister and I) for my mom. My mom has 12 brothers and sisters of all ages so while some are off in different cities or working, the ones that are around are the ones you remember the most from your childhood. No fault of their own, they are just off living. I knew Carol to be one of the cool aunts. When your a kid you remember who was cool to you or when someone is mean to you. Hence, they (Alan & Carol)have been around me since I was a kid. Later....Alan hit it off really well with Chris. It was a given that I get along with Carol. We ended up doing everything together. Birthdays, Friday night dinners, Mardi Gras, Journey concerts, , movies, hanging out as each others houses, the State Fair, you name it, we did it. Time flew. I never thought about it but before we know it over 10 years goes by. Heck Christopher was about 2-3 years old, and he is about to be 16 so you do the math.
I dont think anyone (even Chris) realized what a special day that was for me. It was the first time I felt like maybe I would be ok. It was the first mind over matter experience for me. I just wouldnt accept that I may not ever walk again. I would not accept that I would never dance again, as corny as that sounds. I would not accept that I would be confined to a chair or a bed when I have so much to do.
When I was first diagnosed and had radiation on my lower spine and abdomen it made the nerve pain and the pain down my legs unbearable. I could not stand, I could not walk, I could not sit up straight. When I had to take a shower I would just stand there and cry because I wasnt able to stand for any length of time without my leg seizing up. I would take a few steps and then I would seize up. I would try to sit down and it was painful. I had to do this slouching position. I had such a hard time then because it was so sudden. I couldn't drive, I couldn't do anything. All this started in April 07 right from the get go.
The Christmas of 06, Chris's company threw the best, most lavish party there ever was. It was at the Four Seasons, they rented out every ballroom and turned it into a theme in every room type deal. Full food, full service bar, live band and a dance floor to boot. We went in 06, and it was the most fun Chris and I have had in a long time. When all this happened, I couldn't believe that I may not be able to dance at the party coming up this year in 07. So that was it. I told Chris that I would be walking, and dancing by this years Christmas party, no questions asked.
This gave me target date to shoot for and a mini goal to reach for. The months pass by, I finished my 16 radiation treatments. To tell you the extent of my radiation, it made me baron, unable to bear any more children. Hard pill to swallow. Also the level of radiation I would have needed to completely eradicate the cancer on my spine would have paralyzed me. The radiation oncologist gave me the dosage he could. After that, I went to pain management, I did everything I could to try to figure out a way around this pain. I felt that the pain management I had at the time did not have any affect... I talk about that in another posting...anyways
So all the while my sister gets me a walker, and I refused to use it. I asked my grandmother to carve me a cane (she is a woodcarver) and she did. Its a beautiful cane, and still I refused to use it. When I would use it, it would hurt worse. I was overcompensating from what the doc said. I didnt want my body to get used to bending all sorts of wierd ways just to walk..
SO I just pushed on. I walked no matter what, hurt or not. I would commit to walking the few blocks to pick up Kristen at school everyday. Making sure I have sunglasses on, for when the tears came. I never let her see me cry.
Along comes the special day, and we can think of no other to invite than my Uncle Alan, and my aunt Carol who up until recently have been a constant presence in our lives . Many a dinner, many a night, many a bottle of wine has been spent with them. We took pictures together that night, that I let Alan & Carol take home with them. Maybe they will post it sometime....
Anyway
My aunt Mary took me to get a manicure, and pedicure, my uncle (hairdresser, Stanley Korshak) cut my hair for me, and I went to get a dress and shoes for the formal night.
Folks, I did it. I went to that Christmas party and danced the night away. They called us on stage to dance, and I was like come on Carol lets go. She said no she didnt want to go. Sorry I had to leave her standing there, because there was no way I wasnt going to jump on stage and celebrate the fact that I can even dance without breaking down in tears, without having to endure pain in secret so no has a bad time, that I can even dance at all. I was the first one up there then the flood gates opened. A bunch of girls followed. You know how it takes one person to get the party started then every one else that wanted to go but was too shy, gets up and comes out. Well I will be the one to get the party started, you can count on that! I can say later, maybe after a few drinks loosened her up, she finally got up there and danced.
It didn't matter, I made it. I was walking. I was standing. I was dancing. It was the most special day I have had in a long time. A night to remember.
