Realizations

I wrote to the prayer response team at Joel Osteen ministries a while ago. I mean at the very beginning of all of this. He has been a big part of our lives, even before we found Father Michael. Even now that we have found Father M, we still catch Joel's sermons on TV. He has such a pleasant voice, and I love his point of view, his concepts... How he suggests we go through life. Its funny though, when I got a response I didnt, or couldnt read it all the way through right away. When I start reading it my mind wonders and I cant always get past the..Oh MY God am I really accepting advice about this, it means I have accepted everything that is happening... I dont want to do that!! I have mindf'ed myself into thinking that any acknowledgement of the "c" (Cold) I call it, I will give it more power. I wont do that. A lot of the time, I can not get through the responses. So I save it, share it with all of you, but I dont read it until I am blah about it, and I wont get emotional about it all. I have been very good in that I dont let myself get to emotional anymore. Or all the time I should say. So I finally read it all the way through. Do you know that it speaks to the fact that I have already been promised to be healed through Jesus? I have to sort of jump start the whole thing by my actions, by earning it I guess you could say. So what does the prayer say...?...., that I will earn my healing by the words that come out of my mouth. That is how I will basically earn my healing. Its so funny that when I finally read the prayers that were made for me all the way through, it validates everything that I have been trying to do by myself, without the guidance of anyone. Things like this blog. The pastor who made the prayer for me knew nothing about my blog. The words in the prayer validated me without knowing it by saying that I need to speak goodness to my fellow man, and I will earn the right to be healed. Some of you may say, I should not look at it like that. Why should I have to earn my healing? I deserve to be healed no matter what, just like anyone who is dealing with medical issues. Personally, I dont take it the wrong way. I think its ok if I work on my fellow man for a little while. What will it hurt to share some of my stories or happenings in my life? So what if someone learns from my mistakes, that is the point right? Who else would I want to learn from my mistakes than the people I love and care about who read my blog? I say mistakes like I regret things... and dont get me wrong. I dont regret one minute. I would love for everyone to learn whatever they can. I have learned that there are just some things that you can not teach someone who wont listen or insists on learning the hard way.. by themselves..an event in their life. I have talked till I am blue in the face about some things, and it doesnt help. The person has to experience it for themselves to learn the lesson. Then they come back to you and tell you the exact thing you have been telling them the whole time. What you tried to prevent, the hurt. They finally get it, after they go through it. Makes you want to pull your hair out and theirs, but hey, there is nothing you can do about it. All you can do is try, its up to the individual if they take the advice. You are just the messenger... if you choose to be. Other than that all you can do is try to do the right thing, try to pay it forward. Sometimes it is just as simple as smiling at someone else. I believe its contagious, and one smile will spark thousands.. thats the plan anyway! Good Spirits! Rae