I go through the week and the weekend both up and sometimes down. Most people including my family don't even know when I am down. I sometime cry in private. I cry with Chris. I cry with my mom. I am so tired of the crying, but it does good. It helps me to feel better sometimes. I know one thing is I have spent the past couple of days skimming a book called "The Secret"...the secret by the way is the law of attraction. It states in the book that our thoughts are things, they are what we are intending to do, want to do, don't want to do, and it leads to the things we attract to us through our thoughts. Its such a powerful thing that no one thinks about. No on thinks that their thoughts mean much, and its all going to happen how it happens anyway. I don't believe that. I do believe that we have a lot of control around what happens to us, or we try to make the best choices with what we have. We can not control the people around us. And if you sit around and wait for someone to do the right thing, well you will be waiting a long time my friend. Maybe your idea of the right thing is different from what someone else thinks. You align yourself with the people that you think will take care of you in a hard time. Someone that you can call in the time of need. I can say one thing. Chris is a good man. Christopher has a good heart. Kristen has a good mind. All of us are good at something, and all together we can become great if we choose to. Its our thoughts and actions that take us there. Most of the time people who do good are the silent ones in the back. No one knows that they do good. No one knows because they don't do it for the recognition. They do it because they are good people. I have spent many days here forced to be home everyday dealing with an illness that I did not choose to deal with. I gave up control. I gave up trying to map the way everyday. I try to just go with the flo. I cant change myself, I just try to adjust certain moments and actions to better myself or the relationship of whomever is in the moment with you. You cant force them though. So many times I have put myself out there to try to let the other person meet me halfway. You cant control the moments in their life either. They may be at a difficult moment in their own lives. I try to remember that as well. Maybe they are not at the same point of learning and growth that you are. Maybe your not on their level either. I put myself out there and was left dangling at times, and I have put myself out there and been pleasantly surprised of who steps forward to meet you halfway. Its never who you think it will be either. Its easy to forget other people have lives too, they have problems too, they have difficulties just as anyone else. One thing that has been hard for me to understand is when people are presented with the opportunity to do good, or help, or be called to give a hand, why people don't take advantage of it. Most of us work, and come home and have the same thing go on everyday, just waiting for an opportunity to do good because we are all so busy with life. When that time comes, its the ones learning, the ones that get it, that answer the call. I have been caught up in the hierarchy that is supposed to be in place. The brothers watch out for the sisters, the oldest watches over everyone, and we all get together as much as we can and bond. I have had very rude awakenings when it comes to family. Thoughts that I used to have, have completely changed. I almost feel naive talking about how it is "supposed" to be. There is no cookie cutter way for every family. The sooner you learn that the less heartache you will have. Believe me on that. The less tears, the less disappointments , the less down feelings that you will experience. Now it goes back to my thoughts are things. You control what you feel and think. So don't let yourself go there. Acknowledge it as a lesson learned, and don't think about it again. Think of fluffy marshmallows if you want, you can, they are your thoughts. Why sit around and be miserable all the time. Think about what you want, think about what you need, think about good times, think about how you can better yourself. Never take it to the negative place. Think about your goodness, and you will be surprised how much the goodness will multiply. Its a pleasant surprise. Prayers, Love, Hugs, to each and every one of you.
Renee B.
About Renee and my blog!
- Renee Bravo
- Dallas, TEXAS, United States
- I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer at the age of 29 years old. I am a work in progress. I am learning, growing, and trying to raise awareness for Early Detection. I believe in Girl Power and the power of Prayer. I am a mother, a wife, a strong woman in the 30th century. I have zero history in my family, and I have tested negative for the BRCA gene. I should not be facing this right now, but I am. I figure its for a reason. I decided to share my experiences more for awareness but also a place for my family to get updates. I do not send out email updates to anyone, I post it here. Here I am, I hold nothing back. If I ask anything, its to learn something from what I have been through, and make your life better because of it, treat someone better because of it, love someone more genuinely because of it. And most important of all, make sure all the women in your life have regular mammograms or MRI's. No choice. I believe 40 is too long to wait. Women today need to start early. I would love to hear or talk to any of you. God Bless.
