As I enjoy my weekend of drinking shots and having fun with friends, the thoughts of what about to occur lingers in the back of my mind. Chris and I don't really even drink any more so you know when there is 4 different kinds of shots on hand that we had some steam to blow off before the surgery.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I have wanted this day for a long to time. I have asked for it since 3 doctors ago. The response has always been that it's not necessary because it had already spread. They use mastectomy surgery as a preventive measure. So the cancer will not spread. Mine had already spread. So I have always gotten the answer that I didn't need to have the surgery. Now the doctor tells me she thinks that the cancer is going to break through the skin on my left breast. She says that I don't want that to happen, she doesn't want that happen, and I definitely don't want to be traumatized if something like that was to occur. This is the reason that the surgery is happening now and why it hasn't happened before now. Her examinations of me have lead her to believe that this is something to worry about so I am going to listen to her and have the surgery. I told them as I always do with every surgery to schedule it the first day possible.
I call yesterday morning because I didn't know if I had a pre-op appointment, and they tell me the surgery has been moved to November 9th. So I was just like WHAT, why wouldn't anyone call me and tell me that. I know they are busy but come on. I am glad I called.
I had a cry yesterday because its anticlimactic. I build my nerves up to be nerves of steel, then nothing happens. It so much pressure sometimes. I know I can handle it in the end, I know what I need to do deep down. Its a ride that I never thought I would ever be on that is for sure. I know deep down in my heart that I will have just as much reward as I have had heartache. I know that deep in my heart. It will be nothing but smiles very soon. And I know it is earned and definitely deserved. I cant wait to be at the finish line with all my family and friend crying tears of joy for a change. Tears of JOY!
Cheers,
Renee
About Renee and my blog!
- Renee Bravo
- Dallas, TEXAS, United States
- I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer at the age of 29 years old. I am a work in progress. I am learning, growing, and trying to raise awareness for Early Detection. I believe in Girl Power and the power of Prayer. I am a mother, a wife, a strong woman in the 30th century. I have zero history in my family, and I have tested negative for the BRCA gene. I should not be facing this right now, but I am. I figure its for a reason. I decided to share my experiences more for awareness but also a place for my family to get updates. I do not send out email updates to anyone, I post it here. Here I am, I hold nothing back. If I ask anything, its to learn something from what I have been through, and make your life better because of it, treat someone better because of it, love someone more genuinely because of it. And most important of all, make sure all the women in your life have regular mammograms or MRI's. No choice. I believe 40 is too long to wait. Women today need to start early. I would love to hear or talk to any of you. God Bless.
