Monday, July 21, 2008


Has it not just been so hot these days. I have had heat sickness a couple of times now. I have been keeping busy lately.

As for me, I have been doing ok. I have been so tired. I have been keeping myself strong. I do not let myself wonder off to the bad place in my head where so many hard times exist. I know its hard out there for everyone.
I keep myself going by saying the Lord is wonderful. I give my whole life to Jesus and he is teaching me to live in God's favor. When you are happy for each day, each minute and you have God on your side then its so much easier to go through life. I see loved ones around me that have such a hard time. Its one thing or another and it never ends. Myself included. I always had faith, I always believed in God but I never actually took the time to realize that he is right there waiting for me to embrace him into my life. Full time. I am blessed to enjoy 2 pastors. Father at my church and also a gentlemen by the name of Joel Osteen. Before I was blessed in finding St. Elizabeth, Joel was the only thing I had to hold on to. He is a great pastor. His sermons are just heavenly and tell me one person that doesnt feel uplifted when they listen to him. He has such a pleasant voice.

Anyway, he talks about living in God's favor. How to expect the best and never the worst. If you expect the worst then that is what will happen. Even when you are in a terrible time and all hope is lost you listen to the power of God and its everywhere. Its hard to deny. Everything is so much greater than us. It is so easy to forget that. I taught vacation bible school last week and it was so fun. Each class would come in from pre-k to 5th grade and just be alive with Jesus. It was funny because the theme was the power of Jesus. They ended it with a cookout and the kids performed all the songs they learned. It was really nice. Christopher came too. He loved volunteering. I do to. They are both getting a great start in life knowing Jesus and knowing God is with them. Let it go to him.
I am trying harder than ever now to live in the positive side of life. I have been hurt so bad by family I thought loved me, I have been labeled by people that dont even know me. I have news for everyone, which isnt really news to anyone who really knows me, I am going to do what I want, when I want to do it, not when you say, not when you think its ok. No one runs my life or anyone in my house. I dont even run it, The Lord does. And I defy you to do anything to stop it. I will leave you in the dust where your stupid ass belong for thinking you can mess with the divine power of Jesus. I will forever kneel at the amazing grace of our saviour. It brings me to tears when the part of the church comes when we all say, Lord we take this on your name, but only say the word and I shall be healed. That makes me tear up every time. Its too much to take sometimes. I will be healed, and I will go on to do great things with my life, and bring as much awareness to this devastating disease as possible. I dont know how else to do it...