Tuesday, November 24, 2009

SMILE

I cant tell you how nice it is to have friends that make you smile. I have had a ton of people come across my plate and in and out of my life. I love finding my friends from back in the day and having them remember me for me, how fun I am, how much of a good friend that I am to anyone that is a good friend to me. I have found several of my friends on facebook. I have to say that I love signing on to there and hooking up and talking to my friends. There is a lot of family that I have. My main crew is around me or talks to me all the time. Its the family that is busy but still checks in with you when they have a chance. Its the friends that are almost like best friends, that you don't get to talk to that much. Its those people that are so cool to find again. You never know what just saying hi will do for someone. I try to keep a smile on my face everyday. I had a great smile today from a great friend. Just be a friend to someone, and make them smile today. It will start a chain reaction. Who knows... try it. Be happy and make someone smile. You never know the effect that it may have....

Smile, smile, smile.
Renee B!

Friday, November 20, 2009

My Surgery

I am going to update my blog over the next couple of days. I have been healing from this surgery of mine. I have plenty to catch you guys up on...and I am going to do it by the end of the weekend. Much love to everyone who checks in with me. Make sure you take care of your own self and get mammograms no matter what the news tells you this time...I know it can be confusing. So much information thrown at us all the time. Just pay attention to your body and what it is telling you. That's a great place to start at anyways.
Well more very soon, Love to all, Renee

Doctor Visit-OCT 09

I had several doctor visits leading up to the surgery I just had. I had a modified radical mastectomy on my left breast on Nov 12th. It was the most most major thing I have done so far. And I have had some 3 major surgeries in the last year. I will have to have 6-8 weeks of radiation on my chest before I get reconstuction. The reconstruction can take up to a year from what I am told. I have all the best support and love around me that I have lifted my spirits and my outlook a thousand fold. Let me tell you about it...
I had a pain management appt., a pre-op appointment., a visit with the breast surgeons, and visits with my regular oncologists. They all ask you the same questions. They all can not believe that there is nothing else wrong with me, and that I have no history in my family. They can not believe that I have cancer at all much less Stage 4. The doctors couldnt believe how great I was doing, how great I looked, and how happy I was when I went in to see them. I couldnt have been better.
I know that there is major things going on in my life. I realized that I can pull myself through this. I have the best team, my husband, and my mother, and my sister Lisa. And I have to talk about my little niece.... She is my sunshine, and I use her lifeforce to fuel my healing. May sound funny but this baby is so full of life that she has plenty to give me. The energy of youth. Nothing could feel better..lol..
So I got the best compliments from every doctor that I saw. How great I looked. How good I was doing. How I was an inspiration and that I should write a book. I swear to you that the doctor told me this. She also said that I was stronger than she was and she sees my strength and my willingness to overcome this. It freaks me out a little to hear this from women that I look up to myself. I love hearing it..dont get me wrong. It is good to be validated from women that I respect and think the world of. And they think the world of me. Its a relationship that I wouldnt trade for the world.
I felt great going into this surgery. I was scared dont get me wrong. I was petrified. But I was ready to do this. I wanted this out of me. I wanted the head cut off so the rest can shrink away to nothing and that is exactly what I expect it to do. I dont have time for this anymore. I have so much to do.. so much going on around me that I will not give up. I want to be apart of it all. And I will be.
I love the family that has stuck around, the family that has gotten 100 times closer with me because we have experienced these hard times together. Its funny because I know for a fact that money doesnt make you happy or material items, or a big house. I have been side by side with billionaires. And its funny to see that they were unhappy with their personal lives. They had to hold up this front all the while they slept in separate rooms and did not have people that really cared around them. I have been shown alot in this life. Many life lessons that I have been very aware of. I am thankful for having all those experiences. I was shown the wealthy life. Not rich. Wealthy. I was shown that for a reason. I could step into that life tomorrow and know exactly what to do, who to call, where to be, and why we would be very charitable and remember where we came from. I have had millions of dollars pass me by.. and I know its meant to come back to me. It is coming back to me....Lol.. Anyway..
I am a very lucky person. I am dealing with a lot, but I have the right people caring for me that I draw from their strength and love. Its feels so great. I cant leave out Jesus Christ. He is my everything. I give it all up to him, and I am loyal always. My heart fills with joy when I think of Jesus, and my family. I am wealthy woman! I am appreciative and thankful always. I know what I am going to say on this Thanksgiving...LOL... Thats for sure!
<3,
Renee