Thursday, June 4, 2009

Home From Hospital

I am very tired. I wrote this whole thing out already, and the computer didnt save it. I am just argh! over it. My fellow computer nerds out there kn0w my pain. I saved it DARNIT! And the program did not keep up with me. I type tooo fast. Owell. I will just do it again. In the mean time, I have a picture until I can get up enough strength to get back over here and sit and type it all again...

This is the top part of my leg and the bruising that has come with it. Owie. So I will get all the rest back on here after I take a rest.

Long story short, the 1 hour surgery took 3. I was in intensive care for 8 hours after that. I stopped breathing 3 times. I finally got a room of my own that night. I was only supposed to be there 1 day. I was in 3. I finally got home last night. I will fill in all the details shortly. Time to go take my meds, rest and I will be back very soon.

Thanks to my Chris, Christopher, Kristen, Mom , Lisa, Joe, Judy, Crae, Mikey, Jessica, Di, Grandma C. My hospital stay was bearable because of you guys. Mom, Chris, I couldnt have done it without you.

Shout out to Amelia, June, and Kim my f/b pals. I got your wall posts. I havent had a chance to check the rest of my messages. Thanks Jorge & Janet for the lasagna dinner tonight. Not to mention the strawberries, cherries, pineapple, and salad. You guys are the best. Lord knows I wont be cooking for a couple weeks! Its ok, I am bionic now I just need to fully heal.

My mother also said that Jesus was nailed too. I laughed. I never thought of that. She asked me if I put it in my blog. So here it is. I am nailed just like Jesus. I often make comparisons. If he can endure these atrocities then I can humbly suffer in silence in his honor. It makes me feel good about the pain if you can believe it. Ok, she has really lost is what some of you may be thinking. I have a sense of humor about it also. I am just put in my place when I put it in those terms. Jesus Walks! and I will too...

Love to all!
Glory to God!
Thanks for all the prayers!
Thanks for sending angels!

Keep them coming!
Renee B.

Home from Hospital

Note: Recovered my lost draft, high five to my fellow geeks out there. I wasnt going to give up that easy... anyway... on with the post...

I was discharged from the hospital yesterday in the evening time. I would like to start from the beginning and talk about the surgery. I was very nervous, had almost no sleep as I previously posted. I knew I needed to do this. I chose to do this. And I was ready, believe me, just a little nervous. So I was told to be there at 8am. The second surgery of the day. Chris gets us there around 10 minutes early. We had already gotten the kids to schools. It so happened to be the day of the award ceremony for Kristen's perfect attendance. I was so down when I realized it was the same day. When I scheduled the surgery I only wanted the first day available. I wasnt even thinking about her award ceremony. Luckily my lovely aunt Judy offered to go video record it for me so I wouldnt miss it. My girl had her own cheering section, everyone went to support her. She set her mind to perfect attendance and ended up getting straight a's along with perfect attendance. I will update you on the trophy situation later. For those who were there you know.. for all others I will explain in another post. So... I get changed, and into my bed. I had already done all the pre-op things I needed to do. Basically all I had to do today was show up, get changed and get into bed. All complete!

So now I go to get my IV in. The woman decided to put it on the part of my wrist that bends, not thinking about the fact that I will be using a walker later... I will talk about the suffering I endured because of the placement of the IV. SO...

I am ready to go, I kiss Chris goodbye. The last I see him he is standing in the middle of the hallway telling me he loves me, holding my bag and my book. The last he saw of me, my hands were raised in the air in the champion stance, and I yelled, I AM COMING BACK BIONIC! He laughed. Through the double doors I go.

They wheel me into a room, like a holding place to double make sure my identity, they ask me my name, bday, and why I am there, which leg and all. I almost marked up my left leg and said, do not operate..wrong Anyway, all that is done, and a woman comes in the room and says, "Im taking her." and off I go. She wheels me to the operating area.

I am laying on the stretcher and a man comes up and says, "I am going to give you something to make you relax." Thats the last thing I

The next thing I know...

I wake up to someone sorta shaking me asking me if I am awake and telling me its over, Im done. Im like, no way. I had to ask the next lady walking by if I was really done. She says yes, so I was like, I must be

Then all the sudden all I remember is pain like I have never ever ever felt before. It was excruciating. I started immediately crying hard..harder than I ever have. I told them to give me something now, please. After I got my senses a little when the pain came, I realized I was in intensive care. The surgery that was only supposed to be 45 minutes, took 3 hours in my case. The pain medicine they were giving me was almost a joke. I asked them if they looked at my charts and if they knew my tolerance was very very high. The medicine they gave me for the next 8 hours in ICU did nothing for me, the pain was so bad that I asked them why they woke me up. I was pissed at this point. The pain doctor that was paged over and over again, didnt c0me for almost 25 minutes. At this point I was more than pissed, crying, and my leg was felt like someone was taking a sledgehammer to it over and over again. I started practically yelling, "Where is she, why isnt she here, this is ridiculous, please someone do something." The nurse who had to have approval to give me anything else from the doctor that was taking forever just gave it to me. She said she wasn't waiting anymore. The medicine she gave me had no affect. The lady got there finally and I said.... "Where were you?" "I cant take it, please....."

I overheard the list of meds they gave me. It was enough to knock an elephant out. It still had no affect on me. I finally asked if they can just put me back to sleep. She said "Do you think that will help?" I was like... YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told her that I didnt feel anything when I was asleep. She asked if I remembered what they gave me to relax me at the beginning of all this, and that is what she would give me. I said THANK YOU THANK YOU... PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME. I also in the midst of all my crying apologized over and over to all involved. I told them I wasnt trying to be difficult, that it hurt so bad. I then just remember, nothing but being half asleep and half awake. I was hyperventilating until I finally got enough oxygen to help me relax fully. It was finally enough to make me relax, and try to recover a little bit from this surgery. Then all I remember is all the alarms going off and everyone saying breathe. breathe Renee. Apparently I stopped breathing 3 times during all the pain medicine fiasco. I, each time, was able to come back quickly and start breathing again. I wasnt far away or anything. My blood pressure was just so low, my pulse low, and my breathing shallow are all side effects of the pain medicine they gave me. They finally got me somewhat under control. Around then is when they gave me a pump that fed me medicine every 6 minutes. All I had to was push the button. It was around then I finally got a room.

In the midst of being half awake and half asleep, they allowed Chris to come visit me for 5 minutes. It was probably the 6th hour of me being in ICU. I tried to be so brave for him. I knew they had been waiting almost 9 hours when they were only supposed to be waiting 1 hour. They were scared. I was scared too. I just cried and told him that I have been crying since I woke up. I told him I was sorry. I was really trying to be brave for everyone, most of all me. I didnt want all of the good feelings about this to come crashing down around me. I did not expect any of this. No one did. It was traumatic. All I could say was it hurts. It hurts. He told me to hang on as he always does. He held his composure even though he was walking into a mess. I would not have been able to see him like that. He is so strong. I am so lucky. My mother and him are the dynamic duo, they take care of everything. And my kids, and Lisa, and Jess make sure I have everything else. I am lucky to have them.

So Judy had to go, she had Mikey, and they waited as long as they could. As we all thought, I would be out in an hour and everyone would be able to see me. The kids had to be picked up from school, and Judy had to go because Reatha was coming home. Judy had to take the baby home and also pic up Unc Crae from work. When I finally got a room in the night, I was so out of it, and so tired. I was just glad to be out of intensive care. I got a room by myself. I was so glad. No one else was in there. My doctors were great about seeing me, checking on me. I was only supposed to be in the hospital 1 day. It ended up being 3. I had to stay longer due to my pain.

My pain management doctor came to see me and asked me how I was. She said that they convert everything back to morphine when calculating pain meds. I was up to 300 mg of morphine a day for my pain. My pills were only half that, so they could not just cut me off and then send me home with half strength pain medicine compared to what I was getting. I was telling her about my experience with the pain, and how much it hurt. She also asked me if I had ever seen a orthopedic surgery. I said no. She said it is pretty brutal. She said they have carpenters tools in there. They literally hammer things into place, use all kinds of tools that they normally dont use in a surgery. She told me I had been through a traumatic experience.

I will post about the rest of my stay in another posting. It will about when I got to my room and then on..

Till then,
I call on my angels to give me strength and healing, Amen.

Time of your life..... By: Green Day

This was one of the best times that we have all ever had. I have a special place in my heart for New Orleans. The music, the people, that dancing. Its a great time to be had, if you can

(This is a picture of Chris, Bronco, Alan, Carol, and myself. We were on our hotel on Bourbon Street on our balcony during Mardi Gras. It was the time of our lives for sure!)

Time of Your Life
Green Day

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

(music break)

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.