Monday, July 20, 2009
I had a posting that referred to my thanks to everyone in my first year of postings. It occurred to me I should write another one since its not shown posted anymore. (As I have said before, there are a year and a half of posting that I printed and have in a binder since 2007) I have to and want to thank all the people that are here for me. No names in particular, if you are sending me good thoughts, I love you, and I thank you. I don't sleep, I don't always have a clear head with all the meds and I do have the best of intentions. I will one day take the time to individually write each person. I love all of you so much. I thank each and every one of you for loving me, for being considerate during this difficult time, for thinking of me despite all that is going on within your own lives. I cant express my thanks enough. God is Good... ALL THE TIME!
at 1:21 PM
Dam Chris went to get my medicine this morning. 1200 dollars people. Thats this month only. So don't tell me that I am not trying to get better. I have many more pills when I come out of a surgery. My pain dosage is the same as the day I got out of the hospital. They said when it starts making me tired then I will know that its too much. Now what I don't get is that my tolerance is my tolerance no matter what. How does your tolerance get less when you are taking the same thing. My tolerance has done nothing but increase. That's why I was in intensive care for so long. I have had to do some extra praying when it comes to this coming surgery. I am more nervous. They are going to working by my heart, and the stay last time was nothing less than traumatizing the first day. I have never been in so much pain, I have never cried so hard. I had to be asked to put back to sleep. Like who does that. After 8 hours of me yelling at them, they were more than happy to oblige me..lol.. My goal is to get down to only one pill. The hormone therapy pill. The one that helps me not feed the cells that are attacking me. Goal in sight, goal in mind, now I just have to wait to be done with this next surgery, and 6 weeks of radiation and my monthly chemo treatments, and in November when I get scanned again I am actually looking forward to that scan. I am interested to see what is left kind of thing. Here's hoping!
at 1:05 PM