Monday, July 20, 2009

Meds

Dam Chris went to get my medicine this morning. 1200 dollars people. Thats this month only. So don't tell me that I am not trying to get better. I have many more pills when I come out of a surgery. My pain dosage is the same as the day I got out of the hospital. They said when it starts making me tired then I will know that its too much. Now what I don't get is that my tolerance is my tolerance no matter what. How does your tolerance get less when you are taking the same thing. My tolerance has done nothing but increase. That's why I was in intensive care for so long. I have had to do some extra praying when it comes to this coming surgery. I am more nervous. They are going to working by my heart, and the stay last time was nothing less than traumatizing the first day. I have never been in so much pain, I have never cried so hard. I had to be asked to put back to sleep. Like who does that. After 8 hours of me yelling at them, they were more than happy to oblige me..lol.. My goal is to get down to only one pill. The hormone therapy pill. The one that helps me not feed the cells that are attacking me. Goal in sight, goal in mind, now I just have to wait to be done with this next surgery, and 6 weeks of radiation and my monthly chemo treatments, and in November when I get scanned again I am actually looking forward to that scan. I am interested to see what is left kind of thing. Here's hoping!