Nervous

So I can not sleep. I am nervous. I was more nervous for my hysterectomy. If I got through that, this should be a breeze. Still surgery is still nerve-wrecking. I am nervous, but the natural kind. I am so ready to do this, you wouldn't believe. I am coming out bionic. lolololol....

LIVE YOUR LIFE

If I ever had a theme song, this is it..

Live Your Life
By: T.I. & Rihanna

You're gonna be a shining star,
With fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.
And then you'll see, You're gonna go far.
Cause everyone knows, Who you are-are.
So live your life, ay ay ay.
We steady chasing that paper.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
Aint got no time for no haters.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
No telling where it'll take you.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
Cause I'm a paper chaser.
Just living my life.

T.I.:
Never mind what haters say, ignore 'em 'til they fade away
Amazing their ungrateful, after all the game I gave away
Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today
You'd still be wasting days away, now had I never saved the day
Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay
Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way
Ive never been a hater, still I love them in a crazy way
Some say they sold ya and no they couldn't get work on Labor day
It ain't that black or white, there's an area in the shade of gray
I'm west side anyway, even if I left today and stayed away
Some move away to make a way, not move away 'cause they afraid
I brought back to the hood and all you ever did was take away
I pray for patience but they make me want to melt their face away
Like I once made them spray, now I could make 'em put the K's away
Been thugging all my life, can't say I don't deserve to take a break
You would rather see me catch a case and watch my future fade away

Rihanna:
You're gonna be a shining star,
With fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.
And then you'll see, You're gonna go far.
Cause everyone knows, Who you are-are.
So live your life, ay ay ay.
We steady chasing that paper.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
You got no time for no haters.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
No telling where it'll take you.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
Cause I'm a paper chaser.
Just living my life.

T.I.:
I'm the opposite of moderate,
Immaculately polished
With the spirit of a hustler
And the swagger of a college kid.
Allergic to the counterfeit,
Impartial to the politics.
Articulate
But still would grab a nigga
By the collar quick.
Whoever had problems,
With their record sales
Just holla TIP.
If that don't work
And all else fails,
Then turn around and follow TIP.
I got love for the game
But hey I'm not in love with all of it.
I can do without the fame
And the rappers nowadays in comedy.
The hootin' and the hollerin',
Back and forth with the arguing.
Where you from,
Who you know,
What you make and
What kind of car you in.
Seems as though you lost sight
Of what's important
When depositing them checks.
Into your bank account,
And you're up out of poverty.
Your values are in disarrayed,
Prioritizing horribly.
Unhappy with your riches
Cause your piss-poor morally.
Ignoring all prior advice
And fore warning.
Now we mighty
Full of ourselves
All of a sudden aren't we?

Rihanna:
You're gonna be
A shining star,
With fancy clothes, And fancy car-ars.
And then you'll see, You're gonna go far.
Cause everyone knows, Who you are-are.
So live your life, Ay ay ay.
We steady chasing that paper.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
You got no time for no haters.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
No telling where it'll take you.
Just live your life (Oh! ), Ay ay ay.
Cause I'm a paper chaser.
Just living my life (ay), My life (oh), My life (ay), My life (oh)Just living my life (ay), My life (oh), My life (ay), My life (oh)

So live your life.

TI):
Got everybody watchin what I do
Come walk in my shoes
And come see the way I'm livin
If you really want to
Got my mind on my money
And I'm not goin nowhere
So keep on gettin your paper
And keep on climbing
Look in the mirror and keep on shining
Till the game ends, till the clock stops
Were gonna post up on the top spot
Livin the life, the life

In a brand new city got my whole team with me
The life, my life I do what I wanna do
I'm livin my life, my life I will never lose,
I'm livin my life, my life And I'm not stopping
So live your life!

(Rihanna):
You're gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.
And then you'll see, you're gonna go far.
Cause everyone knows, who you are-are.
So live your life, ay ay ay.
We steady chasing that paper.
Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay.
Ain't got no time for no haters
Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay.
No telling where it'll take you.
Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay.
Cause I'm a paper chaser.
Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh)
Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh)

So live your life.!!

I Can See Your Halo

I absolutely love this song. I couldnt listen to it at first because it is so close to what I would say to each and every person who has had any part of helping me in any way. It was very emotional.

I really send this out to my mom. Chris. the kids. Grandma. my sisters. my brothers. You guys have been with me all the way, no matter what. I can never come up with the words that I need to tell you my appreciation. You literally saved my life. In every way.

Also want to dedicate this to a few others, Crae & Judy, Jorge& Janet, Aunt Mary Margaret, Jean Ann, Martha, Susan, Don & Shirley, Father Michael, Doug, Aunts & Uncles from my fathers side who helped with my wedding. Teresa & Cathy, Di, Christina, Cat, Amelia, Clare, Jean... just to personally name a few.

Also my friends. So many of you, you know who you are... love you all!!



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Remember those walls I built?

Well, baby they are tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But, I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had, you break it

It's the risk that I'm taking

I ain't never gonna shut you out!

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby, I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby, I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

Halo, ooh ooh.....

Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

To pull me back to the ground again

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had, you break it

It's the risk that I'm taking

I'm never gonna shut you out!

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby, I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby, I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

Halo, ooh ooh.....

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

Halo, ooh ooh.....

Halo, ooh ooh.....

Halo, ooh ooh, ooooh........

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby, I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby, I can feel your halo

I pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

Halo, ooh oooh.......

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

I can feel your halo

I can see your halo

Halo, ooh oooh.......

Pre-op

I went Friday and did my pre-op. Get this. I took myself. Big step for me. I hear the cheers from all my angels! Anyway, they did an EKG, and talked to me about anesthesia. I got outta there around 2 and then we went to Kroger day at Hawaiian Falls. They rented the whole park out. Was fun. I saved my steps the entire week so I could walk around without my cane or crutches. I pretty much stayed in the wave pool and the lazy river. I felt it the next day trust me on that. But it was worth it. My mom was like, my coworkers are going to see you and I wanted them to at least see you with your cane or something. I am like, heck with what everyone thinks. Like, am I supposed to look a certain way because I have this "c" and I should look like I am knocking on deaths door. Hell with that. I will not look sick for anyone just because they think I should look a certain way. Bald, half dead, pale. Whatever. I can tell you now that you will never see me like that! No deal!
I push on, this is a good thing. My choice to do this. Try and stop me!
Wish me luck. Send me angels. Say prayers.

LETS DO THIS!

Love to the masses,
Renee