Its been a while since I posted on my wifes blog due to me getting her memorial together. It was really hard to say goodbye to my wife in front of everyone since we never did share are most inner thoughts. The memorial was all how I planned it, I hope Renee was proud of me. Father Michael was gratious enough to precide over her memorial which meant the world to me and my family. A Father who knew us and especially knew my wife. Words of comfort I have been waiting to hear for 4 years since holding all emotions inside because I did not want to have Renee see me panic or scarred. Everyone that loved and cared for Renee was there and the ones who couldn't make it were sending prayers by the masses. Man I love and miss my wife, I am still in complete shock that shes gone. I feel her even now around me and I want to go fix her pillows or get her some juice. The nights are the worst for me, Im used to hearing Bebe I need your help and I dont hear that anymore. I hope my wife is taking a great journey in Heaven and saving a spot up their for me Right now though I have to fullfill her promise and get our son to graduate high school. So the past sunday my mother called and asked if were going to church and I just wasnt in the mood, then I rolled over and saw the hundreds of pictures I put on the wall and I heard her say Get UP so I did and church was like home only warmer.